Turning Tables

Bogor. My Corner. Nov 23rd 2014. 08:59 pm.

Hi you.

Perhaps, this is the last time I write about you. Well, it's not about pathetic love-life drama thing that might be you've found on my previous post. It's just something that I've inspired by my friend @RahnePutri here about The Plan.  

Yesterday, I had discussion about resolution with some of my friends. Someone mentioned about financial planning: what's exactly you really want? what you really need? what's your objective? those kind of things in future. Well, I have to admit, after I've been through all of these and tried so many things in order to run away from your shadow. I was thinking: why don't I get back to myself and reshape the plan for myself? Instead of over-thinking about you.

Because, honestly, after accidentally I read your post on your blog about "the settle down" things and your dream husband, plus you said you've already found him on that man. And I realized for sure, the man who you talked about is not me. It was like a bomb exploded in my chest. Heavy slap laid on my face. My effort and faith is just like a one hand clapping. Damn.. 

But well, if you didn't see a future in me, maybe someone will do. Because of what? because of these…

#1. I just started a small financial planning. Now, I am 26 years old. Associate Account Director in a multinational company. Have own salary. Single. Have no girlfriend, not even a wife, no kids, and live without any encumbrances. I can easily count my assets and manage my own saving. Even-though I NOT a super genius boy who understand forex or stock exchange. But I will contact a financial consultant in the very near future in order to help & manage my assets. So, Financial Consultant is my 1st priority next year.

#2. I will start to put an investment on Life Insurance & Education Assurance. Meaning, if I fall down sick (or even dead), I will have a bunch of money to cover it. And of course, if finally I have kids and thinking about their school, my wife would not worry about that, because all of it - is secured. Nice huh? :p

#3. It's not about the revenge, but my wife will be happy, slim and sexy instead of going to be fat, because of point #1 and #2 above. I can do a cooking. Dude, trust me, I'm good on it. I'll give her hot-sweet-jasmine tea in the morning when she wake up. I will try my best to make her happy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year.

#4. Where do we live? I don't fucking know, maybe in a simple-minimalist apartment in the city like Jakarta, Singapore, Dublin, Tokyo or NY. Or even in a Truck / Caravan like Meredith and Derek in Gery's Anatomy series. Or maybe in a small wooden cabin at the foot of Mount Rinjani, Lombok. Well whatever it is, we will call it a "home" not a house. But in fact, I will buy a property in Sentul City, Bogor, as my dream since I was in elementary school. Seriously.

#5. Next year, there is NO fancy trip-plan to Europe, US, or Aussie - cost by my own pocket unless it's a business trip or relocation. I have to re-think about point #1, #2 and #4. But still, I will do diving and explore the beauty of Indonesia, and spread to the world that we are strong and beautiful country. Just proud being Indonesian.

#6. I will keep my body healthy. I don't want to lose this flat six-pack abs because of beer or alcohol. I don't want to kill my lungs because of weeds. I just have control it. I will keep running, take a half-marathon next year, try Bikram Yoga, join Muay Thai class, eat Paleo food, and of course playing basketball with the bros.

#7. As a moslem. I'll try to keep duha & tahajud as my routine. And try to be a better Imam for myself - at least.

Well, there are still many things in my mind beside seven points above. But all I want to tell you is… good luck, I hope that man is truly better than me. He can love you more than I do. He can protect you and be your faithful partner in sickness and health, in good times and bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. He can support you in your goals, honor and respect you, to laugh and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as you both shall live.

Good bye, love. I will let myself go. 

--

M!

"...I can't keep up with your turning tables

Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me

No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me

I can't give you what you think you gave me

It's time to say goodbye to turning tables, to turning tables

Under haunted skies I see

Where love is lost, your ghost is found

I've braved a hundred storms to leave you

As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down..."

Courtesy of GleeWarrrd: http://www.youtube.com/user/GleeWarrrd

Maratua Paradise

Posthouseindo, Kemang. Nov 13th 2013. 10:13pm

It was probably one of the most fantastic journey that I ever had so far. Came from the impulsive buying, Maratua Trip made my perception about the beauty of Indonesia are getting stronger. I promise to myself, I'll put Indonesia's flag emblem on my backpack, talk about Indonesia as much as I can when I'm going abroad and never say bad things about Indonesia to other even-though you are not agree with your country. And one more thing: I will say "It is Bahasa Indonesia NOT just Bahasa" when I talk about our national language.

Well, I started the journey from Soekarno-Hatta International Airport at the dawn on October 2013. I flew to Tarakan using Lion Air from Cengkareng and continued the journey with speed boat from Tarakan Harbour to Maratua Island, Nort-East Borneo (Kalimantan). In short, it took almost 8 hours trip from my room in Jakarta to my room in Maratua Paradise Resort.

All the frustrated feeling instantly gone when I finally arrived at Maratua's dock at that afternoon. It simply a heaven on earth with the mixture of deep blue sea, long-wide shore with the white sands sweep away, tropical wind blowing, and half naked - innocent kids happily playing on the beach before Adzan, absolutely make a harmonic reaction inside us. It feels like.... unbelievable.

Here is a glance of Maratua Paradise:

Oh ya, below I quote my friend's note about our trip. And it is really a good copy.

"They say you have to see to believe it...

so I come, I see, and I swim within it, and not dive through it. And it left me nothing but an awe!!

to simply define it as beautiful, would be considered as an understatement!! Yes, a degrading phrase!!

this is only a glimpse made by Maulana Nurhadi toward our short experience in this island. Though we didn't came at the finest time, and didn't lavishly enjoying our stay at Maratua Island, we were truly grateful to have this chances.

beyond everything, please consider this as an open invitation to enjoy our great homeland, before the Malaysian acclaim it. 

yes, I meant it, don't let this treasure gone, like Sipadan Island did."

Enjoy.

--
M!

The Kryptonite

My Office. XM Gravity Account Room. 13 Nov 2013. 01:17 am.

Tonight I wanna talk about super-hero. Well, even though I am not kinda a guy who really love comics and action figures, I still follow their stories, read the storyline, and watch their movies and series as well. 

Let me start with my favourite: Spiderman. He can spins a web in any size, catch thieves just like flies and he's got radioactive blood. Peter Parker - as his alter ego - works in Daily Bugle as photographer. Since in the high school, Peter Parker has known as a smart-genius boy. Until finally, The Osborn family found him and amazed with his intelligence. Beside all of his strengths, Spidey has the weakness in his girlfriend-fiancee Mary Jane Watson, Aunt May and his college girlfriend Gwen Stacy. He could give up and sacrifice his life for his beloved person. In addition, Spidey is kind of emotional person and has terrible identity problem.

Jump into a story about an American billionaire playboy, industrialist and ingenious engineer, named Tony Stark a.k.a The Iron Man. He has a company called Stark Industry which created many military weapons. Also has a smart-beautiful girlfriend who finally overtake the company as Starks' confidant, Pepper Potts. But who would have thought if Tony Stark has weakness in alcohol and damaged heart. He can't even drink a liquor in a bar. :p

There are so many weaknesses in Superhero. Daredevil hates noise pollution. Storm is claustrophobic. Green Lantern is definitely can't hold a yellow object. Magneto of X-Men is afraid on Titanium, and so on.. Even the famous Superman has Kryptonite as his weakness.

You will definitely agree if I said that Superman is a total badass. Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound – who WOULDN’T want to be Superman, right? Now, although the Man of Steel is pretty much indestructible, there’s one thing that can take him down quickly: Kryptonite. Suck.

I bet you’ve tried to get in shape in the past, you’ve probably even had some success and watched the number on your scale get smaller and smaller. However, there’s that one thing (or two) that eventually always knocked you off your path and sent you in downward spiral back to complacency and unhealthiness. This failure is your Kryptonite. When you think you strong enough to do many things without crying, doubt and defeat. Once in of your life, you'll definitely beaten and knocked by the kryptonite. 

If I can be honest with you, there was an energy that really pulled me down to the weakest point of myself, is you. You made my world twisted. You perfectly made my brain frozen. And you were slowly changed the motivation to become ambition. You are my kryptonite.

- The Kryptonite -

I still remember when I haven't seen you for a long then finally met you on that day, it was like standing at the edge of the cliff without parachutes.

--

M!

Be Grateful. It is just a matter of time.

Ngopi Doeloe, Bandung. 08 November 2013. 11.45 pm.

C.S Lewis said: "Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement" and Robert F. Kennedy said: "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly". If I translate it to Indonesian quote, it will be "Kekalahan adalah kemenangan yg tertunda".

So what is happening to me at the moment? Yup, I am sick and tired with the failures. Failed in career and failed in personal life. Let me make clarify this, failed means I can't finally get it. I lost. Don't get me wrong. It's more into something that you can't achieve yet.

Recently, I've been doing some interviews process with some global-multinational company for certain position. As you already knew, I really want to go abroad, have a fantastic career as Indonesian expatriate in SG, KL, Tokyo, or even to the ultimate New York City at the final chapter of my career. 

A year ago, I have successfully passed 7X interview process for Ads Operations in Google Singapore, but at the end after the final interview with the boss, she said NO. I failed. Couple months ago, I have successfully passed all the interview sessions for Account Manager at XM Asia in KL Office, Malaysia. But then, there was a 'hire freeze' due to bilateral issue between two countries (and I assume it is also because of their unstable P&L balance). So I failed.

It was sucks! Really really sucks.

But I tried to figure it out: why? what exactly happened to me? Why you were not allowed me to get it, oh My Dear Lord?

Slowly, I found the issues. 1st thing is "Maybe you are not ready enough for this capacity and responsibility". The 2nd thing is "Your environment are still need you. Your family. Your colleagues. Your client." and the 3rd - as the biggest obstacle - is "You are not grateful about all the things that you have so far."

Please forgive me, Lord. I didn't meant it. 

Okay, if I take a look to the other side, I just got promoted as Associate Account Director couple a months ago in XM Gravity. I have super & powerful team-mates. I have exciting projects and campaigns. And I have challenging clients as well. So be grateful, dude!

So after all, I took a deep breath. Think. Reshape the strategy. I need more to be patient. Keep the faith.  Keep fighting and believing. In Bahasa Indonesia: ikhtiar, ikhlas and pasrah. Cos the best is yet to come and it is just a matter of time.

Bismillah. :)

Note: 

At the moment when I write this blog, I'm in the middle of interview process for a position at Google Asia Pacific in Singapore, as her replacement in OPG - Indonesia. Because she will flying high to the biggest video platform, called YouTube. if I finally got it, the game is still ON.

--

M!

The XMG Lab Trip

Office, Oct 24th 2013, 12:52 am.

It just one week after my trip to Tulamben. And It was pretty nice trip as our weekend gateway.

We booked a speed boat from Marina Ancol to Pulau Harapan, Kepulauan Seribu. Stayed only one night in that island. Tried to play Warewolf at night. We did snorkelling and made some funny games on the beach at daytime.

Overall, we enjoyed our time together. 

#BestTeamInTheWorld. ever. 

--

M!

My New Life Has Just Begun

Office, Oct 23rd 2013, 12:14 am.

You know what, there are so many things that I really want to do recently after 'that' happened. It's not because of I have more time nor money to spend. Being honest, it's because of I really want to take a remedy for myself. No matter how expensive it is, I'll do it as long as it can accelerate my recovery.

Last August, I went to Bali to take my first Diving License in Tulamben. It was really cool, seriously.

So, here's the video of my 1st diving trip :

And yup, it's kinda addictive and more expensive than a flight ticket Jakarta-Singapore. :)

Enjoy!

--

M

"The Hardest Part"

Jakarta, Sept 23rd 2013. 02:29 am.



Fuck. Can't sleep. I miss you, Scar.

But let me tell you something here, something about you..

"The Hardest Part"

And the hardest part

Was letting go, not taking part

Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing
Was waiting for that bell to ring
It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
Bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth
Silver lining the cloud
Oh and I
I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
You really broke my heart

And I tried to sing
But I couldn’t think of anything
And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
You left the sweetest taste in my mouth
You're a silver lining the clouds
Oh and I
Oh and I
I wonder what it’s all about
I wonder what it’s all about

Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do, it's just comes undone
And everything is torn apart

Oh and it’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part
Yeah that’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part

---

It's really hard to tell you about what I felt. I just can't tell. But with this song, perhaps you can understand. 

And I'm still wondering oh what it's all about.

Good nite, Scar. :)

--